Bars, beer, zip-lines, crashes, bats, rats, snakes, politicians, and tits,,

Made our run to Placencia yesterday. Went to the Pickled Parrot for beers later. Wanted to see what progress has been made in the restoration project.
None.
There were at one time big plans with 2 story concrete stuff but the usual reasons why it ain’t moving forward popped up.
Personally, if it were me, I’d leave it as it is. Right now it is nice and air-ey, cool, lite, (the white ceiling really took the dingyness away.) and comfortable. I say save your money and use what you have. But that’s just me.
Watched some kids make a zip-line from tree-to-tree using someone’s garden hose. Fairly entertaining.
Then we heard about the first car crash on the new pavement.
In-between laura beyu and Fiona’s old house is an ‘S’ curve. It was no problem when it was rock and mud. But now it is pretty easy to enter the ‘S’ at too high a speed. Factor in a belly full of beers and you have a small truck bouncing off a power pole and landing in the bush.
No one was killed or hurt but the truck took a pounding! There will be others you watch.
I have a ‘year-in-review of photos of the road progress to slap up here real soon in case you all missed something.

Got to listen to folks bitch about the V.C. chairman again. If anything we hear is true, he is a real piece of work. But, maybe they all would bitch no matter who it was? Doubt it tho.

We ran outa banana’s and I needed some for the evenings bat-fest, so I goes over to the market to see if they had any.

Me: Hi Santos, do you have any bananas?
Santos: Hola Mr. Bill, sí. ¿puedo traerlos a su casa?
Me: uh, OK.
Santos: le los traeré pronto.

I went on back home and Mrs. Barn sez, “so, where’s the ‘naners?”
“I’m not real sure but i think he is going to deliver them?” (I’m picking up some Spanish this way)


A few minutes later, here comes Santos with this stalk on a 2-wheeler.
So I hung ‘em up to ripen.

We had another rat in a cage waiting to be delivered to Carl for his snakes, but after I told the rat he was future snake poop, he died. Bummer, he was a cute little guy.

In case anyone is curious, the new car stereo works like scalded tits! That’s good BTW.


Tits:

Protrusions on womens' chests which have the power to attract mens' eyes
other terms for tits,
US: hooters, bazookas, gazongas, knockers
UK: fun bags, Bristols, jugs, baps, melons, knockers
FRANCE: Boules
SPAIN: Cocos, domingas, tetangas, papayas
JAPAN: Chi-chis
CZECH REPUBLIC: Mliekarne (refers to a shop that only sells milk)
RUSSIA: Grudis, siskis
ICELAND: Bublur

just a quicky,,,

Shit happnin in all directions this morning. (Not from ColonBlow either)
Here are some bat photos from last night.

Thar she blows,,,,,!

I can’t think of a better way to spend a couple days,, well, maybe but this will do just fine.
I did this a couple years ago and I saw some shit I ain’t never seen before,, litterly!
At one point I saw a burrito I ate in ’86! Then a bit later came a big hunk of re-tread?
You know how your intestines wrap around for about a bunch of feet long? Well shit can get stuck in the twists and turns. All the 90’s and ‘s’ turns and can just sit there and be nasty.

So I like to get cleaned out. Short of rammin a garden hose up my ass, this seems like the best way. Plus you get a cool t-shirt and hat!
On the front is the ColonBlow logo and on the back it sez “POOPIN IS COOL”. There ya go.

Link


So,, do I post photos of the results?
Anyone?
Beuller?





ColonBlow:

A maximum-strength laxative, not for the faint of heart. You will literally shit your guts out. The mucus lining your intestines will be removed.
"Poopin' Is cool"
"Have a crappy day!"

Barnacle does Denver part dos,,,

Trips to Denver can get expensive! My parents are located in a very accessible shopping area. I am serious when I say that I can buy literally anything I can imagine within a 1 mile radius of their house!
So that translates into spending a shit-load of money either on ‘stuff’ or burritos and steaks.
I bought one item by mistake and it is now back up for sale. A Panasonic cordless phone model # KX-TG2302B. still in the box with receipt. 100bz OBO. Mrs. Barn wanted one with caller I.D. and I fucked up. So, my fuck-up can be your score! Nice phone!

Went looking for a car stereo. The one in the Barn-Mobile basically sucks. And trying to play the ipod thru it has been a challenge.
Found one that would play the ipod thru an input jack no problem. But, it also has a USB port.
So fucking what you might say,, well check this out. For 14$ I also bought an 8gb flash drive to plug into that USB port. 8gb will hold AN ASS-LOAD of music! Enough for any road trip we ever take, that’s for sure. Plus I have other 1 and 2gb sticks around if needed. It also displays the song info on the stereo face. How cool is that!!!
The nice, young, pimply-faced salesboy tried his best to sell me the extended warranty. I finally tell him it’s leaving the country.
He sez “Sir, if needed we will supply you with a list of authorized repair facilities in your local area.”
One of those comments you just have to laugh about and move on.
Kinda like the visitor staying here who was having issues with his new fancy-pants digital underwater camera. He sez “I’m gonna run into town and see if the camera repair store can fix it for me.”
I just had to walk away,,,,

And as usual, I went to the grocery store twice a day. I just can’t get enough of those places! So much georgous vegatables and stuff. Sprinklers going, music playing, the little bag dispensers that tear the bag off for you!

I ask the manager if he would let me take photos for the blog. He says he has to get his boss. This guy sends me to the main office to ‘Media Relations’. Phone them up, she transfers me up stairs, they transfer me down the hall, he transfers me to his boss who I finally convince it’s all for fun, no competitive business scheme going on here. He gives me the OK and sez he will e-mail the manager at this particular store.
3 days go by before I am up and ready early enough to miss the crowds and get good shots. I head in with camera ready, ask for the manager. Once again I am denied. They look everywhere and have no reference to me gaining permission to do this.
Fuck it,, I’m going to Little Anita’s for a breakfast burrito.

P.S. I see the music player has gotten it's shit back together,,,




Burrito:

80 years ago or so, Burrito did not exist in the spanish vocabulary. It was a word invented by anglo-americans. Why? Long ago, mexicans would carry their tacos on donkeys to sell to the anglo-american tourist that came to TJ. Anglos started to say " burrito" because the spanish word " burro" means donkey, and now most hispanic and anglo-americans believes burrito is an acutal word. Now a days, mexicans have adapted the word burrito into their vocab. Even though it does not exist in the language system in mexico.
In reality, there is many words to describe a specific taco a person would want in mexico.
What we call burrito in america is called " taco" in mexico. A tortilla wraped with anything.
Tacos sold at taco stands in TJ are called " taquitos"
Tacos sold in del-taco or taco bell do not exist and you will never find them in mexico.
Tacos that are hard shelled and rolled into guacamole or other sauses are called " tacos dorados"
Other tacos are called...flautas.
Many words to many different types of tacos but never called burrito in mexico. Other than TJ and some northern parts of mexico due to Anglo-american tourists.

Barnacle does Denver,, part one,,,

"Mom, can I borrow the car? I gotta go get some shoes.”
My parents are getting up there and have all the normal issues you would think, plus a couple others that no one should have to deal with, but that’s another story.
I go visit and help out as much as I can each year.
So, away to Denver I go. One week earlier there were blizzard conditions, but I was promised good weather this week. HA, day #2 it freekin snowed.



Typical for Denver in the spring. I went into Wallgreens during a blizzard, but when I came out there was blue sky and warm temps. Sloppy tho.

Mom hears about the blog and asks for the address.
Me: I don’t think I want you out there Ma.
Mom: Why not?
Me: There’s allot of crap bout boobs, donkeys and shit.
Mom: Oh come on, nothing I have not heard before.
Me: OK, there is a couple days dedicated to Smegma.
Mom: Whats that?

I go get a dictionary, open to the page,,

Me: Right there Ma, read it out loud.
Mom: ,,,foul smelling cheese-like substance that accumulates under the fore,,OH MY GOD!
Me: You still want that address Ma?

She sez she will just look at the flickr site, thankyouverymuch.

Me and dad went bar-hoppin one afternoon. Yep, blind and using a walker, we hit two of his old haunts trying to scare up some of his old buddies. Kinda sad tho, of all the names he dropped with the bartender, half were either dead or close to it. Sucks to watch them get old!

I was invited to a model shoot at the North Denver Studio. Two young girls from CU wanted to update their portfolios.


It was a good learning experience of how to coax the models and get them to loosen up, but I got aced out of doing any actual shooting. I was to get in after the paid photog was done, but by 2200 I said fuck it and went home. But I came away with some new ideas so it ain’t all bad.

P.S. Who left that stinkin Stout beer in my fridge?

I wish temperance leagues still sang anti-drinking religious hymns outside bars, because, you know, it’d be a very funny thing to watch while getting hammered.

It will just get worse,,,

I think you all know what transpired last week, so I won’t go into the whole ‘I-was-in-Denver-and-Mrs. Barn-hi-jacked-the-blog” thingy.
But,, I’m back!
She did a good job of keeping shit stirred up I see and set a record for the amount of daily hits!
Not only did she hi-jack the blog, seems she commandeered all the woman’s night attendees to storm the DoubleWide!
And she thought she would be bored.
She will become a regular guest author soon and you can expect more of her view from the Breach.
Let’s all give her a big Mental Breach wedgie!

And while I was chowin down burrito’s and beer’s up north, the blog hit a milestone.
On April 28th, As the Coconuts Drop turned one year old! Wholey shit, has it been a year? Why yes it has.
And just think of all the amazing topics that have been discussed.
Vampires, zombies, smegma, boobs, balls, condo’s, the road, cats, dogs, dog dicks, dog balls, whores, skanks, bats, birds, bees, politicians, assholes, vaginas, beer, Rosie O’Donnell, Oprah, Dr. Phil, Mennonites, mayans, more boobs, tamales, pizzas, bagels, hurricanes, rain, cold, beer, hot, the new deck, the old deck, Canadians, dump trucks, more dump trucks, beer, more assholes, flowers, the beach, trash, internet, smut, beer, banana’s, snakes, lizards, more beer, swimming pools, bars, poker, fishin, beer, scorpions, voo-doo, chiney man, land titles, dangriga, music, cameras, boobs, (inhale,,,,,),

Texans, coiti’s, crabs, cops, power, water, environment, bribes, more assholes, upalumpa’s, gay security guards, rocket launchers, construction workers, rust, computer parts, boobs, sand, dog hair, dog shit, cat pus, cat poop, blind cats, stupid cats, worthless cats, dog fights, dog urp, rum, pirates, wenches, tires, air conditioning, advertisement execs, Sarah Palin, photo lightning, models, hotties, notties, money, bowling, beans, rats, taters, naps, sex, jalapenos, crock pots, sunrises, chachalacha’s, ear wax, farts, hot sauce, soup, tattoos, hats, gecko poop, ulcers, gun permits, restaurant reviews, bar reviews, buses, dope, BTL, BEL, gas, boobs, tampons, and did I mention beer?
Good gawd,, I re-read that last bit and I realize,, hey, that’s my life! I’m living it!!
So, as the blog inters its second year with over 23,000 visits, you can expect more of the same, if not worse! only worse!
Stay the fuck tuned!


Birthday:

1. The day I came out of a vagina
2. A day to celebrate that you haven’t died in the last year
"It’s my birthday! Whoopdy fucking doo"
3. The celebration of the occasion of which you exited a vagina. Not to be confused with sex.
“My birthday is in July”. (Never had sex in July though)
4. A type of suit, most pleasing when worn by hot chicks.
“It's cool when your mom only wears her birthday suit”.