ATTENTION, ALERT, HEY YOU,,,!

OK so you’ve read the Jackson rant, got your zombie prevention measures in place, well then look at this.
Remember Steve and Trina? They are still waiting trial. Mom has sent out another request for support from Belize. She sez you can post a letter of, of recommendation (I don’t know the correct type of letter this would be called) in Steve and Trina’s behalf and she will make sure it gets to the judge.
I tried to do that and apparently MySpace hates me too. Won’t let me sign up, the fuckers.
Anyway, here is the site address and her plea for assistance.

“I spoke to Stephen last night and he said to tell everyone they knew in Belize to please write letters for them. He mentioned several businesses he worked at and they frequented, but we have little time on the phone and I am not familiar with any of those places, but I am sure if you were close to them, you will know who he is talking about. Sorry to be so vague, but my information is vague coming from him and very quick, we like to spend most of the time letting him talk to Karissah and we only have 15 minutes per call.”

I am working on a way around MySpace and will let you know when i get something.
Pleas pass this along to all who can help!!

It's,,,,,,,,,SHOWTIME!

Call me an asshole. Go ahead, others do.
But am I the only one who thinks all the hub-bub over Jackson’s death is just a bit much?
OK, I admit it. I have never been a fan. Not when he was 5, not when he moonwalked, never. Not my kinda entertainment. DUH, real shocker there eh?
And at the point he went all freaky weird, going thru the Caucasian transformation process, (which failed miserably), and all the other weird shit at Never Never land with the monkeys and petting zoo and shit,, WEIRD!
Then you toss in a bunch of kids to the mix and we got weird to the third power!
Twice accused of kiddie diddling. Once acquitted and one settled out of court, for an undisclosed amount.
Now this guy has a gazzilion dollars, dies, and leaves it all to the family.
Heres where I have trouble. Can you imagine the money spent on this memorial? Staples center? A gold casket? That don’t come cheap. If the world was a somewhat normal place, they would have stuck him in a pine box and donated the gold casket money to some worthy charity, like a child abuse clinic or something.
I didn’t watch it, another shocker there, but I can imagine it was all about show. Everyone put on a good performance; we’re live to the world.
All those singers got up and got some t.v. time, but how many of them do that for any charity? None I bet.
If I sent an email to Mick Jagger and the boys asking them to play ‘Sympathy for the Devil’ at my funeral, I would problay get a response back something like “Sure mate, we’re free next Tuesday.”

Mrs. Barn hears me raggin on a dead guy and wants to stab me repeatedly with a spork. A whole drawer full of big, sharp knives but she will use a spork so I don’t die. “CUZ I’M TRYING TO SAVE YOUR LIFE DUMB-ASS”.

So now he is dead and gone, let’s just move on shall we. Until we start to have sightings like those with Elvis. And now that you mention it, this guy was already a zombie already!
FUCK, another zombie walking the planet!
Now where did I put that can of Zombie-b-gone?


Pedofile:

Dipshit who can't spell.
pedoPHile, not pedoFile, you fucktards.

By Golly, You Betcha,,,

Gawd, as much as I hate politics, I just love watching Sarah Palin make a fool of herself!
Uh oh,, I hope she doesn’t sic her lawyers on me.
This dingbat had best learn to keep her mouth shut. Every time she opens it, the world laughs,, at her, not with her.
Hustler magazine has made a porno with a Sarah look-alike actress. “Nailin Palin”.

I saw a 2 minute teaser clip that had me rolling!
It seems,, 2 drunk Russian soldiers are out joy-riding in their tank when they run out of gas on Sarah’s front lawn.
They knock on the door, she answers, and you can guess where it goes from there.
I see later there is some 3-way action including Hillary and Condaleza! YE---HAW!!
So get out the popcorn and whatever else you need and watch this movie!
But wait, theres more!
Check out the inflatable Sarah doll.

When’s the last time you had your way with a Governor? But do it quick, she will only be the Gov for a few more weeks!
No lube supplied.

Shhhhhhh,, What's that smell?

Ever get that craving? When you just want some junk food? Of course you do.
Ever notice how expensive junk food is in Belize? Of course you have.
Something as simple as a crappy bag of fritos can cost you 10 bucks! And you better make your own dip cause you don’t wanna know the price of that shit!
So I do make allot of my own junk snacks. Corn tortillas from Dangriga make excellent nacho chips.
And since me and Google are so tight, I have found recipes for everything from corn dogs to twinkeys.
Since it is so slow round here right now, I plan on trying out some of these.
I may need to find a defibulator first as Mrs. Barn may need to revive me a time or two.
“CLEAR,, fffzzzzZAPPPP,, OK, we have a pulse.”
Here are 2 items that are in the line-up. Nothing special bout this bacon cheese burger is there?


And I like the sounds of this pizza!


Anyone seen any of this at the Chiny stores?



You could wrap a dog turd in bacon and it would be great!
(Never proven, try at your own risk! But do post your findings here!)

Shake, Rattle and hump,,,,

The road boys are at it again, right out in front. They worked late last night till after 7pm!
I can’t wait till they are moved north of us. No more dust, noise, air horns, dump trucks. It will be so nice.
Hopefully, once the road crew moves on there will be minimal truck traffic as it appears the condo projects are still stagnant! HA HA!

Right now seems to be mauga season (sp?). Everyone is slow and I mean from the oppressive heat and slow business. Happens every year. We load up all the seasons empty beer crates and cash them in, and we count up all the change lying round and turn it into the store.
This time as Mrs. Barn was counting the change and stacking it up, the earthquake simulator would rumble by and shake down her stacks!
The simulator is the roller machine they use to smash down the road. It can really shake ‘Cez Barnacle!

It never ends,,,,,

Heres a video showing what’s not in your vacation brochure.

All the news not fit to print,,,

June was a dangerous month. Look at the casualties it claimed.
David Carridine, Farah Faucet, the Oxy-clean guy, and now Karl Malden!
Ferfuckssake, that’s a bad month! Seems like I’m missing someone,, oh yea, the largest impact on my life was felt when the Gecko living in my bathroom croaked!
The news has been a bit whacked out lately. I saw a video of a squirrel living inside a woman’s bra, the ugliest dog competition, Iran in turmoil (nothing new there) North Korea getting all froggy again just begging for a bitch-slappin.
Locally Belize has been put on the shit list with the world heritage site people for selling off protected areas and allowing scumbag developers to run amuck however they want. It’s amazing how easy people are bought and sold!
Our road is moving right along. I say it will be paved in front of ‘Chez Barnacle within 2 weeks! It is sooooo nice to go south now, I don’t even hesitate.

Ladies night is back in full swing and Mrs. Barn is in attendance right now. That means I will drink beer and shoot bats. OK by me.
I think this ‘ride’ should be incorporated into next years lobsterfest.




Development:

Way to stick a tree in the environments proverbial butthole
Walmarts development claimed to help the community, but just brought traffic and the destruction of biota habitat.

Another one under the belt,,

Another lobsterfest has come and gone. Each year we also hear ourselves saying it will be our last. We have been to 10 out of 11.
Not to dump on the whole deal but I guess we are getting old-er. Every year it seems to be hotter, louder, and more crowded. Oh yea, that sounds like age creepin in!
Then each year we start psyching up for photo ops. But we never bring back much to speak of.
Mostly because I start drinking beer and we know what happens then.
Whine whine whine,,, but do I really need another excuse to drink beer? I think not.

The best part about the whole deal is seeing friends we don’t see much all year. But then again, it is not the most ideal setting for that either.
So as of right now, count us out for next year. But, don’t write that in ink,, just pencil.

Here are some photos, Mrs. Barns first.















































































And mine.