Beats the hell outa me,,,,,?

We have been doing this along time now. Checking in visitors and explaining all we can to help them settle in for a nice vacation. In ten years, we have gotten it down to a routine. It’s not very often someone asks a question I can’t help with.
A couple nights ago some guests arrived for a 5 night stay.
I was my usual helpful self, “what do you recommend for dinner, which dive shop do you suggest, night-life, when will the grocery truck be by, is it safe to swim off the beach, can we kayak out to that caye, ect ect?”
Over the years I have honed my responses.
But,, then he tossed out a question I don’t hear very often and it always interrupts my flow as I stumble all around it.

“What about church? Where are the churches?










“Uhhhhhhhhhhhh, what?”
“Where are the churches?”









“Adriane,, little help here! Did I mention that there is a deposit on those beer bottles?”

Sorry,, I can spout off all the beer joints and taverns within a 60 mile radius, but “where are the churches” leaves me silent.



Check this out. It’s a can of Bean&Bacon soup!

Bunkster,, can’t you just taste it now?

So I suppose your wondering a few things.




#1, Why the fuck is he photographing a can of soup?
#2, Or 3, or whatever number we’re on,,, Where did he get it?


OK, both legitimate questions.
First, I’m not so much shooting the can of soup as I am trying out a new light modifier I received in a suitcase last night. It’s a PhotoFlex small softbox. Very nice, soft, even light. It will be an asset to my portrait shots, IF ANYONE EVER LETS ME SHOOT THEM!
Second, the softbox and the soup came in the same suitcase. So it’s only right I shoot the soup with the softbox,, right?





Chimp in Space:

Someone who attempts to talk on a cellphone in a loud bar, much as the chimpanzees sent into orbit couldn't communicate with ground control.

NO,, chocolate does not go well with beer!!

Easter weekend is fast approaching. Know how we observe Easter weekend? We hide!
That’s right. It can get a bit nuts out there. Not so much old dead guys moving boulders and sneakin out of their cave somewhere in the middle of the night, (sounds like a Zombie to me) but the party animals that come from nowhere!
And something weird always happens in our parking area. I leave my light on for various reasons, but when I installed that light, it wasn’t intended to be the work light for some guy to change his clutch at 0300! But, he needed a light, I guess.
Easter weekend can be like a mini spring break. Lots of folks tend to migrate here from the cities.
We avoid the village, just too much for us old-er party animals.
I’ll stay home thankyouverymuch.

And someone is always advertising a “Seder by the Sea”?
You can go see what that’s all aboot, I’ll be at “The Bender on the Beach”!
If you hold your beer bottle up in the breeze, you can actually hear the Beer Gods!

We have some folks coming from Denver tomorrow. A guy from my old neighborhood who I haven’t seen in at least 35 years! This should be interesting. We didn’t hang out together as he is a couple years older than me but we knew who each other were.

This is the Boogervilla that greets you at our parking area. Seems it really enjoys life near the leech field!
That bastard is outa control!








Easter:

The celebration of a bearded man called Jesus Christ, who died on a cross and rose again, resulting in future workplaces and schools closing while people eat chocolate Easter eggs.

Hey! Put down that tax return and have an egg! It's Easter!

"Hey? Where'd the Body Go?" Day.
Not to be confused with Dead Guy on a Stick Day (aka Good Friday).

Darren Stevens would be proud,,,,!

The requests for ad space are beginning to happen. Got some rollin in and a few more being constructed as we type/read.
I wasn’t really thinking when I announced the free ad offer, didn’t put allot of thought into it. Like most of my actions.
I assume one day I will get a request from someone who I will have to tell “run along now, and play hide-and-go-fuck-yourself”!

I have gotten a request from a real estate agent. He understands and states, “if you can stomach it,,” to consider placing his ad. Right off, it would seem we already see things the same. And because of that, I will go ahead and place his ad.
And no, this was not the same agent that was just busted by the D.O.E. for bulldozing mangroves, who refused to stop after the village council told him to, who was fined and now has to clean up his mess AND replant everything he destroyed, no, not that one.

I believe what I should do tho is try to give local peninsula business’s the first shot. Then, space allowed, take the others. Hell,, may never get to that point anyway.
One thing to note,, I don’t really know what I’m doing. News flash huh?
I don’t have the tools or know how to re-size these ads. Blooger tools only gives me one button to click, “size to fit”. If you could make sure your ad’s fine print is readable, or your contact info is in large, bold type, that would help.
Or, if anyone has experience with what and how I am doing this, and can offer suggestions, bring it, bitch!

Just got another ad this morning. Placencia Office Supply! The best place for all your office needs and/or internet access!


Jehovah Witness: Knock Knock,
Barn: Who’s there?
J.W.: Jesus.
Barn: Jesus who?
J.W.: That’s just my point asshole. You better get some churchin up!

Entering construction zone,,

In anticipation of a flood of people taking advantage of the free advertising offer, I have cleaned up the right side of the site some. Photos that used to be there are gone. Replaced with flickr sideshows. Button on bottom right goes to full screen.
And, a bunch of new tunes landed in the box. Check out the ‘Over the Rainbow’ tune.

I'm not easily impressed but,,,,,,,

Theres a new dive shop in town. Avadon divers.
They have been open since Jan 1st and we have been sending our guests out with them.
From the start, Anne-Marie has been a joy to deal with. Unlike some of the other tour operations, she always answers the phone, calls me back, follows thru on what she is suppose to, ect.
And the rest of the operation is a class act as well! Everyone we have sent out with them has had nothing but good to say.

Everything is brand new! Buildings, gear, compressors, even the boat!
And last night we were invited out on that boat for a sunset cruise!
Man-o-man, what a nice boat! 42 feet, dual cummings diesels with a combined 400+ horsepower, 400 gallon fuel capacity, on-board head and showers, all the bells AND whistles!


Rum punch was served (we brought our own beer,, duh), and a very nice sunset was observed by all.
I see nothing but good in their future!











Avadon Divers Belize











































Check it out,, the first commercial advertisement has landed on the CocoNuts site!
Got stewed chicken juice on your shirt? Road dirt on your new tank-top? Did you soil your britches?
Give Mr. Dale a shout! At Bustin Suds Laundry.


I started taking scuba lessons when I learned that the Titanic went down with 500 cases of Bass Ale.

Just when things are at their worst,,,,,

Take a look at what’s been going on in the world lately. The economy is in the crapper, the Iraqi war, North Korea is about to launch a ballistic missile, fires, floods, rapes, murders, Mrs. Obama actually touched the queen of England (!), our gas prices went back up a dollar, lying scumbag developers are everywhere. It seems to never end. Just negative after negative.

Then, my doorbell honks.

I go out and find a man standing at the bottom of my steps.
He extends his hand for a shake and tells me his name is ‘Joe’. “I read your blog and it makes me laugh.”
Then he hands me a plastic bag, says “thanks”, and walks back to his car.
Inside the bag is 6 cold Belikins!
I could have sat down on the steps and cried, but I didn’t. Had to get them beers back in the fridge!
But that was one of the nicest things ever. A complete stranger handing me some cold beers.
Joe, I am glad I can supply some grins to your day, but believe me, you made my day!
Now,, I’m gonna go beat all the shit outa them 6 beers!!

















BEER:

Its the fifth element after water, fire, earth and wind... Nothing exists without it!
- Life sucks...
- Here have a beer!

"It's just a hobby, I don't need the money,,,"

Easy day of shopping. Got ‘er done in record time!
Then we meet a friend and take the water taxi out to Tranquillo bar. Never been there.
We sold our boat to the blowhard salesman, guy who is ‘developing’ Placencia caye but we never been out there.
Nice spot! Kinda hot yesterday but I didn’t mind. Conch fritters were fucking excellent! And it is being run by our friend Vance. Check it out!

Next stop was Yoli’s. lots of noise there as they were in the beginning stages of adding their new pier.
“Been paying for pier permits, might as well build the pier.” Looks like it will be a great addition.

Had heard plenty bout the place next door, both good and bad. Had to go check it out.
Apparently, the owner has ruffled some feathers and after speaking to him for only a couple minutes, I can understand why.
Any time someone makes the statement, “I don’t need the money, I just do this for a hobby”, well,, you can see where that will lead.
To me, and this is just one idiots opinion, if you need a hobby, pick one that is not going to have any effect on others peoples livelihood!
Like the guy up north of us who made that same statement than proceeded to rent his ‘beach house’ for ½ of what the going rate was, because “it’s just a hobby, I don’t need the money”????

But, we got some food from there and made our way back home, DODGEING VAMPIRES all along the way as we stayed out past dark!!!

Quick, easy blog this morning as I have to make an airstrip run and the power is suppose to go out AGAIN from 8-12,

FUCK!
































I’ve worked out a devious plot to steal Einstein’s brain. So I can drink the alcohol it’s stored in.