Thief caught red-handed,,!

We went to the village yesterday. Picked up a couple juicy tidbits for ya!
Heard about the crime wave plaguing a certain bar. Seems there was a suspected purse snatcher taking advantage of tourists. Tho never proved it was suspected of a certain individual.
Then, (queue ominous music), on New Year’s Eve, CAUGHT red handed!
So, a purse snatcher huh?, The first thing I assume is a crack head doing his thing. They will do about anything for some smoke.
But this turns out to be a white woman in her 50’s! skinny little thing so maybe she is on crack?
We have seen her around for awhile and she would kinda creep us out. Always staring at you thru some real dark sunglasses. No one really liked her that I hear. Her name is Vicki Somethingorother.
A couple tourists reported their purses missing, Vicki tries to take the heat off her by saying it was the Maya basket women who just left. Bartender finds the purses in the bathroom, empty, and sics the cops on her. The cops find her on the beach WITH the booty in her lap!!
The tourists were leaving the next morning so they didn’t want to deal with the whole press charges thing, so they got their stuff back and our perp walks free!?!
Vicki has been booted from all the bars and as word spreads, I would think it’s just a matter of time she is basically run outa town.

I/we knew there was something up with her but never figured this!
And here I go, wrongly laying blame on an innocent, upstanding crack head when all along it was the dreaded 50 yr old white women!

Edit: Since the cops are not going to do anything to this alleged perpetrator,
how do you feel she should be dealt with? Vote in the poll.



I was awarded the "Purple Liver" medal, for 'drinking above and beyond the call of happy hour'.

Now I totaly want a pet chicken,,,

While Monday’s opening day ceremonies were not as lavish as I had expected, Tuesdays activity more than made up for the poor start to ‘Construction Season ‘09”. As anticipated, trucks began their daily back and forth routine early and continued into the evening. Good news is, seems most trucks were of the road repair type, not the usual condo dump trucks. Sunday as I sat at the airstrip waiting for some guests, I got to watch a dredger be hauled in to try to lift a dump truck out of a sink-hole that was swallowing it right up! I was rooting for the sink-hole.
The new sign at both ends of the dirt road tell us that this is a "road rehabilitation project". How fitting, even the road needs rehab!

As long as the road is being discussed, let me say a few things about the trash along the road. For the life of me I just can’t understand people. Why would you throw your trash out the bus window? Or off your bike? I have seen folks drop their empty chicken box right at their feet when the last leg bone has been sucked so clean it could be used as jewelry. Just drop it right where they are standing, whether a trash can is nearby or not. The road is covered on both sides by plastic coke bottles. They fly from the windows of all vehicles, from the handlebars of bikes, to the guy just walking down the road. Sure, I was not raised to do that, but it just seems to be common sense to me. I could go on and on but I need to stop somewhere.

Then there are the business owners who have garbage piles lying mere feet from their front door? Once again, common sense tells me that folks may be a bit turned off by this and go elsewhere. Especially if the business happens to be a restaurant!!! But it lays there for weeks, month’s maybe.
When the rare occasion erupts where the critters breech the security system I have installed on my trash cans, I clean it up as soon as I find it, no matter who did it, dogs or coons.
Why people don’t keep it clean is beyond me.
The old saying 'common sense is not very common', comes to mind.
Also, it was one week ago we switched from Placencia trash pick-up to Siene Bight’s service.
We have not had a pick up since? I see their truck go by, but it’s a good thing I bought 2 extra trash cans, cause maggots need somewhere to live too.





Baseball is wrong:
man with four balls cannot walk.

4 SALE

A friend of mine does a lot of business with some outfit called “Craig’s List’. I never heard of it but sounds like eBay which I also know nothing about but I googled up Craig’s List to poke around.
Look what I found within 3 clicks! Some guy wants to trade his cat for 5 bucks!
Now, FuzzNutts has a bad attitude but I give him a break cause he is blind in one eye and can’t see outa the other. That would sour you too! Poor little dick. I see him make some serious miscalculations traveling around the house. But I won’t sell him for 5 bucks! But,, make me an offer.



piece of shit CAT -- $5

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2004-03-06, 11:50AM PST



This is the shittiest cat you could ever be cursed with. He's an indeterminate age, but acts like the rowdiest teenager you could ever have. Hates being petted, will scratch furniture and will fuck up your carpet with his claws, will get and stay underfoot while you are trying to get shit done. Not scared of the vacuum.

Will not play with any toys you buy him, so don't bother. Will not use scratching post. One pristine condition scratching post comes with, no extra charge.

Four lifetime supplies of catnip, which he will not touch, no extra charge.

Crappy attitude and extra shedding ability included free.

Get him out of my house before I kill him. This cat sucks, and I want him gone. Come on, cat lovers, you know you want him. You can CHANGE him. Sure. Just get him out of my house.

Oh, he's black with green eyes, medium size, and he fucking SUCKS.



PostingID: 25852281





“That jerk is the ugliest, smelliest, assholiest fuck-face on the planet. I would never sleep with him again.”

Did that kitten get smooshed by a dump truck,,,?

Oops, my bad!
I have been reliably informed that every time I say Phuck, God strangles a kitten.
First thing I thought was Holy shit, either God is one great multi-tasker or he has a shitload of free time on his hands! Either way, that’s a pile of strangled kittens!

Glory be unto him, today is Opening Day of “Construction Season 2009”!
The season will kick off with a dump truck parade followed by the mangrove removers, dredgers and Backhoes, ending with the bus loads of Guatemalan labor. I foresee a banner year!
Yes, it’s 5 days into ’09 and all the work should fire back up today. It has been sooooooooo phuckin nice (sorry kitty) the last 2 weeks. No construction traffic since the 22nd! I tried to take a nap one afternoon and I could not sleep over the sound of a bird chirping and the gentle lapping of the waves. I missed the rattle rattle bang bang of a trailer or cement truck.
And along with no construction traffic, there has been no grader to help with the rain ruined road. It’s bad,, again. Blah blah blah…..

Did anyone else make the New Year resolution to drop some weight? This person ain’t gonna make it.

Cave now and head for the snack isle. It’s your destiny.
















I made another light modifier,, this one uses plastic drinking straws. Here’s the test.


A.D. 300 Aztecs ferment cactus into pulque, doubling the attendance of Hurl the Human Head Through the Hoop matches.

Edit: Couple new tunes by James Hand for 'New Music Monday'.

TACOS CURE CANCER!!

In a desperate attempt to gain some major sponsorship for the blog, I have been contacting various fucking loaded with money, large corporations offering some ad space along the side.
RedBull replied but said they were broke?(redbullshit) Gucci actually said they didn’t want to be associated with anyone who promotes pole dancing as an art?
Thought maybe I could pull some strings at Tampax but they have not returned my emails.
But I did get some fairly receptive responses from Taco Johns! I have been communicating with a mucky-muck from their home office for a week now. Mostly we just chat about midget porn but we did get around to business.
I’m expecting a shitload of money to be dropped off here any minute in exchange for me claiming their tacos cure cancer.

These are Mrs. Barns latest photos,,,















If my liver doesn't quit acting up, i will personally remove it with a spoon.

The consession stand at Barnacle Lanes,,,

Everyone’s new year start off as planned? How many made a resolution? Better yet, how many will keep them?
I strive to (A) stay alive, (B) stay outa jail, (C) eat , drink, and be mary, meery!

And speaking of eating, I see a comment has been tossed into the comment section asking for my tamale recipe. OK, let’s discuss that a bit.
I have only been able to work a computer for about 5 years now. And what I mean by that is the ability to do useful stuff, (this blog for instance), other than play Diablo. Which by the way is a kick-ass game!
I do enjoy cooking but the most important 4 words I have learned over the years are “Google is my friend!” when I want to cook something, I head straight for google. As far as the tamales go, no, I don’t have a recipe myself, I google up a few and use a different one each time. Usually I only use what I find as a guideline as I cannot ever find all the ingredients they want so I bluff it thru.

Tamale recipies don’t change much ‘cept for the innards. You can do what you want with that. Today it’s pork roast, onions, garlic, jalapeño, black olives, peas, and some spices. The hardest part for me is getting everything to balance out so I have no leftover husks, filling, or dough. But it’s getting better.
Bon aptite!

























A.D.600 An early form of whiskey is invented in Ireland by Monks who had travled to the near east to learn the secrets of perfume distillation. Reckoning it is far better to feel great than smell good, they apply the formula to fermented barley and coin the phrase, "Let's get stinkin drunk."

Chili today, hot tamale,,,,,

Shhhhh. Smell that? Not much better to wake up to than the smell of a pork roast that has been in the crock pot all night! Yep, another batch o tamales commin up!

So who has a hangover that you could see from space? Not me. Although we beat the livin crap outa a case of beer, I was in bed by 2100. Belly full of pizza, contently snoring away.
And rolling out of bed this morning was unusually difficult. As you can see by the dial on the incredibly accurate thermometer located on the double-wide at ‘Che Barnacle’s, IT’S PHUCKIN COLD!

The blankeys were tucked up tight. I swear I could see my breath! Global warming my ass! Some localized warming would be nice!
No clouds tho, so it should shape up into a fine day.

Now that the holidaze are done, finished, we can put away the lights. They are looking a bit blurry anyway.

Allrighty then,, I best put on my tamale apron and get jiggy wit it!

Edit: a few have commented that the slideshow from a few days ago does not work.
If you want, here is another version.








Can I get a new round of friends for my drink,,,