",, and when she strips, the chauffeur flips, the butler's eyes get crossed,,"

Already my mobile stripper show has hit some bumps in the road, speed bumps it seems.
This morning I felt a burning sensation near my left ass cheek and reached around and found a spork stabbed into it! With a post-it note on it saying, ”Give up the pole dancing idea Junior.”
I don’t know who did that. Did someone break into our house last night? How did they get past K-9 security? Mrs. Barn says she has no idea and she said so with a cold, steely-eyed, serious face!
So if this little project is going to cause this much negative vibes, even before we make our first lap down the road, maybe I should re-think this.
I will have to come up with something tho. Cause I don’t want a job!
I would rather sleep in a bunk bed underneath Oprah!