Sunday, May 1, 2011

12-21-12 ain't got nuttin over a Zombie invasion!

OK, we survived “Dead Guy on a Stick” day, we made it thru our young friends visit, we are still plugging along with plenty of guests, when I am reminded of all the upcoming events we still have to conquer.
Apparently, May 21, this month, is ‘Judgement Day’.
I forget who but someone has decided that on that date Gawd is going to take all the good people away and leave all us sinners behind. Or something like that.
So when I wake up on the 22nd, right where I was the day before, I guess that means I am fucked.
Mrs. Barn has it written on her calendar so we don’t forget.
Wonder if we will be stood up,, again?

Then I think there is one other date before THE BIG ONE, but it escapes me right now.

December 21st 2012.
Oh yea, we all know this date. The day the Maya ran out of chisels to carve their calendar any longer.
People have been worried about that one for years.
So, plan accordingly.

Then, last night as we were sitting on the DoubleWide, minding our own damn business, I hear this.
Brother Glen: Brother Bill, I have a guy here from Brasil named Guggi (pronounced Goo-gee) who knows a lot about Zombies. I figured you would want to talk to him.

Yep, this is the kinda stuff that comes to my door. If not this than it’s Jehovah’s.
So I go out to see WTF and Brother Glen is right, Guggi starts talking about Zombies. How they live, breed, eat, how to kill them ect.

I would glance over to Glen and he was just giddy, snickering and chuckling.
Back to Guggi, he then switched to Vampires.
I asked Glen what the fuck are you two doing here?
Glen says he picked up Guggi in Siene Bight and he had been talking about Zombies all afternoon so he wanted me to see it.

At one point Guggi was telling us about Zombies being mentioned in the Bible.
I asked him if they were put onto Normans ark? He said Noah. I said no, his name was Norman. We argued that for a moment but settled on Norman.
Did Norman put 2 Zombies on the ark?
Along with the green alligators and long neck geese, the humptyback camels and chimpanzees. Some cats and rats and elephants but sure as you’re born, he never collected a unicorn!

Glen was about ½ to ¾ in the bag at the time as well.
We decide Glen should keep his helmet on to help keep the Zombies from getting to his brain. And my advice about Vampires was to keep the alcohol level in the bloodstream so high they cannot detect any blood. Works for me.
So apparently Guggi has been in SB for a week or so and may be here longer. So if you bump into him, strike up a conversation.
He creeped Mrs. Barn out.

Reality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol


Anonymous said...

Speaking of unicorns:


RPM said...

Unicorns have magical powers...

Anonymous said...

I've seen him around for about a month. He walks everyday from SB to the village. All I can say is, "HOLLY JESUS, I THINK THEY ARE CORRECT. HE DID COME BACK."

Anonymous said...

What can I say about the mental breach....:) My neighbor sure isn't boring but at times obnoxious :)

Anonymous said...

i need to add something to the aforementioned, not boring but sure as heck ANNOYING

sandy a said...

For some reason, SB does seem to draw in all the freaks