Sunday, April 10, 2011

A little of dis an dat,,,

I spent a few hours on a nice couch the other day, watching Jerry Springer on TV. The only real reason I was tuning in to Jerry was that I couldn’t figure out how to change the channel on one of them new fangled big-ass TV’s everyone seems to have. Belize has so many contrasts.
I was stranded there on that couch while my AC in the truck was being repaired. 3 episodes of Jerry later, I was informed they were having trouble finding the part I needed. After another episode of “Does DNA prove the kid is mine?”, they told me to come back next week. Fuck.
I have to make a trip to the international airport in a couple weeks and I don’t want to make that trip on window cooling alone! Spoiled much? This is the first car I have ever owned with AC, and yes, I’m fuckin spoiled. And so is Scurvy. With the windows down, my hair fuckin blows everywhere, have to turn the stereo way up to hear it, then way back down to talk. Gimme my AC back dammit!

Seems McNugget, the V.I.P.’s drunkin chicken has been 86d from the bar. Not so much for his drinking habits but he has found his wings. I know I know, chickens can’t fly, much. But this little bastard is giving it his all. He began to jump from the bar to a nearby table where he would crash land into someone’s beer, knocking it over, maybe on purpose. Then fly/stumble to the next table, and so on.
Doris yelled “allright, pollo. salga de aquĆ­ y don' t se vuelve.” To which he promptly left. I assume his next gig will be the star attraction in the stew pot as a drunkin chicken has little redeeming social value. And in Mental Breach, we set some pretty high standards! Dammit.

Speaking of that, I was told our local pig farmer sold his first pig. There was a birthday party planned in Siene Bight and BBQ pork was on the menu. The pig musta got wind of this because as they unloaded him from the car, he said a quick ‘fuck you’ and made his escape. I believe he is still at large somewhere out in the bush. Got to give him credit, I would have done the same thing! Now if he shows back up at the farm, then give the farmer credit for training them pigs right!
But to be all technical and shit, wouldn’t this pig farm be like the shrimp farms? In that I don’t think they are ‘farms’ so much as they are ranches. At a farm you plant shit in the ground. At a ranch you herd and wrangle shit. Am I right?

I'm going to be around until the Atomic Energy Commission finds a safe place to bury my liver.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

PM me on the part needed. I'm interested. Is it what you have?

I want to come back as a boa. OMG