Friday, July 30, 2010

Deep fried air,,,

I was reading an article in the New England Medical Journal about some Canadian guy who’s dick turned orange. He had no idea why.
He went to the doctor to get it checked out and they gave him a complete examination which turned up nothing. (I am leaving out all the medical jargon and condensing this)
After exhausting all options, the doctors concentrated on his lifestyle.
“What are you’re at home habits? Your usual routine on weekends?” Those type questions.
All the Canadian guys answers offered no clues,,, except one.
“Well, I do watch a lot of hokey on the T.V. eh,, and I eat Cheeto’s”.

So, just a couple days ago we hit the post office for our mail. The girl gets me a big box. She opens it to see what’s in it so she knows how much duty she can fuck me for.
Inside, and I shit you not, are three large bags of Cheeto’s? 2 are regular cheesey poofs and one bag of ‘LARGE’. The picture and description on the bag sez you can’t fit a whole one in your mouth.

The bags were 3 bucks each, the postage to send them here from Montana was 20 bucks and the girl slapped me 3us for duty.
So these 3 bags cost 31$.
Cheeto’s are nothing but fried air, cheese flavored powder and orange #5
And I now have 3 big bags of them.
OK, where did they come from and why you ask.
A girl sent us some money to add to the garbage cleanup fund and included these cheesy poofs.
Why? I can only guess she wants me to get into trouble again.
Remember last time Mrs. Barn was gone and I got into trouble talking bout cheesy poofs and boobs?
Well it ain’t gonna happen again. She can bait me all she wants too.
Besides, the only boobs I have to talk about are Mrs. Barns and since she still has a sexual harassment case pending against me, I won’t even mention them big, beautiful, bouncy works of art!
Nope,, not me.
And since I know you are going to be watching, I like to eat cheesy poofs from a bowl using a fork.

Ask not for whom the bell tolls, I mean who really gives a shit? OK fine: it tolls for that bitch up the road.


RPM said...

What, no flamin' hot flavor?

Ray said...

Would you take some pictures of where the fence used to be by Mango's on the south side and post them? And did GOB grade a road to the beach between Debbie's and Mango's?

Anonymous said...

Dear Barnacle,

It appears we have a nude sun bather in the Breach. He was spotted by one of the female neighbors and her two very young daughters south of you at one of the resorts.

The lady told me it was a disgusting sight.

If anyone knows, it happens to be a bald headed French Canadian who lives in a cinder block open aired building in the North Seine Bight area. I am sure you all know who I am talking about since he rides his bicycle around almost half naked most of the time.

Anonymous said...

"....almost half naked...."
SHOCKING! What is Maya Beach coming to? Barnacle Bill needs to raise the standards around there!

Barnacle said...

Ray,, we have the photos of when the GOB removed the illegal fence but,,, i can't find them yet.
no,, the road guys did not grade the beach access. but the beach cleanup fund has a surplus and talks are going on to work on both access's and parks.

Sue W said...

Every woman should have a man who refers to her boobs as "big, beautiful, bouncy works of art."

Ray said...

And were there any flying monkeys stirred up when they did?

Brian said...

hey Bill cant u use ummmm a Ukaranian or something in ur jokes lol This Canadian might jus come have a beer wit u soon. And maybe an overnight got vacancy between the 24dth and the end of the month?