Thursday, February 25, 2010

National Geographic is WRONG!

Tonight, I unpacked my Masters degree in Animal Social Behavior, dusted it off and conducted some scientific work.
I recently received a tip from a friend to a link concerning bat behavior after drinking. (bats drinking, not the scientist)
Yea I know, bats and drinkin? Well I’m all over that!
Seems some researchers came to Belize to look into this idea that bats eat fermented fruit and get drunk. OK,, you can read their findings HERE.

I on the other hand, decided to conduct my own research. You can’t trust everything you read on the internet ya know.
So I marinated a few banana’s in One Barrel Rum till they were nice and sogged with the good stuff.

I set up my lights and as soon as they showed up mooching like they do every night, I set out the ‘special’ ‘nanners. Here they came, just like always, tearing into them ‘nanners like they had been sleeping all day or something.

About 4 bananas’ later I began to see a change.
Ophelia, the little female who is normally very quiet and reserved, reached over with her wing and bitch-slapped Ralph for being too close to where she was feeding! Big Linda saw this and crash landed laughing so hard.
Look at Larry here, he is only interested in slurping the rum!

A bit later I see Zoe and Big-Dick Pete off in the corner swapping spit/rabies.
Hector flew right into my umbrella, gathered himself up and was laughing hard as he flew away.

Hank, Scrappy, Grizelda, and Stump were in the tree singing “Mambo #5”, “A little bit of Monica in my life, a little bit Rita on my side,,,”.
Huey and Bob were last seen arguing politics. ‘ole Leatherpuss was just sitting there, waving his wing saying “pffffft, fuckin AMATURES, never ate fermented fruit before? Pussys.”

Resources consumed:
Bats- 5 rum soaked banana’s. (about 4 shots worth)
Barnacle- 11 beers. (about right for this type of research)

Conclusion,, the bats are truly now my drinking buddies. Never once did one shit on me, piss in my general direction, nor drive a fucking golf cart around my property!

Can I get a new round of friends for my drink?


sandy a said...

HAHAHAHA!!!! That's great! Wished I'd been there!!

Wilma said...

Your new drinking buddies are more photogenic than mine! Those are really fabulous photos.

Denise said...

If you keep this up Bill, you're going to have to rename your blog site, "As The Bats Drop"!!!!

Anonymous said...

"Ophelia .... where have you gone?" Apparently to Chez Barn's. The wife (well mine) said it would have to be 3 Barrel before I crash land. One Barrel tastes to me like a cross between whiskey and rum.

In addition to the M.S., weren't you working on a Doctor of Voodoo'ology or some such?

Great photos and a great idea.

RPM said...

I smell a Nobel.

Anonymous said...

LOL<LOL<LOL<LOL..great photos and great comments....


Julian in SC said...

It is fascinating to learn that top-notch research is still being done.

I look forward to your white paper (or more blogs) noting just how many trips to the banana per hour can be safely negotiated without risk of flying into stationary objects. Maybe you could wrap bubble wrap around all sharp edges near your porch.....

Anonymous said...

You are SO going to hear from PETA!

Anonymous said...

Dude, that's fucking AWESOME!!!

Anonymous said...

I understand from a friend that they will also smoke if given a cigarette or sumtin.