Sunday, October 18, 2009

They were peddlin their asses off!

A cold front has arrived! Yee haw! Good sleepin times are here again!
I see fans off, blankeys are out and Mrs. Barn mentioned her PJ’s.

The bike ride for Sonny Vernon was this morning. He had some back surgery in Mexico a few weeks ago and they are rackin up some expenses while he recovers. I am told there will be 2 more fund raisers to come.
Did I go to the bike ride? Why yes I did. I have a brandy new beach cruiser (2 days old) and this was it’s maiden voyage, shakedown cruise, so to speak. The event went from the point at 0800 to the south end of cocoplum and back to the point. Looked like about 40(?) or so showed up.
Although it was not a race, these type things always end up that way, for a few.
First ones back, Tiffany and another girl I don’t know her name. Decked out and riding fancy schmancy mulit-geared machines. First beach cruiser, 57 year old Harold Wallen! Took about an hour to make the ride. Cassie was the only one to ride double as she had her kid in the back seat!
Where did I finish? I didn’t. I said fuck it and turned around at Millers Landing. Somewhere just north of the airstrip I noticed my ass was missing. Couldn’t feel a thing.
So,, I was the first one back to the Shell station to get a beer. Sonny got my support money anyway.
So now without further delay, here is the top 10 reasons I did not make the whole route.

#10 As mentioned my ass went bye bye at the airstrip.
#9 It is a new bike and I’m not used to it.
#8 It started to rain.
#7 I saw a bikini.
#6 It was raining and I couldn’t see, the bikini.
#5 Someone told me there was to be a lot of ‘downhills’ but they lied.
#4 Too many speed humps.
#3 I was hitting such speeds and given the wet pavement I may not have made the next ‘S’ turn without some sort of epic crash!
#2 While checking to RPM gauge on my front sprocket, I nearly killed a dog.
#1 The beer was back at the Shell station, DUH!
Here’s to you Sonny!

I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?


sandy a said...

hey at least you gave it a shot!

Anonymous said...

And I said I would put up $20 that you wouldn't/couldn't make now I owe $20..what's the best way to get it there from San Pedro without going there (although I sure would like to visit)???

Barnacle said...

jesse,, you could send a check to me and i will get it to the right people.

Anonymous said...

YO brother,

There is a rumor going round the Breach that a new business will be offering rental and sales of motorized bicycles. They have a 48cc engine, do not require a drivers license or registration.
I was told they can go around 25-30 MPH.

This is what you need for that next bicycle fundraiser. Understand they are working on being able to attach a small cart.
That way you can even tote your Belican beer. Way to cool!