Thursday, October 22, 2009

If you're so easily offended, why do you come back? It's in the hopes that one day I will really get to interview Sarah Palin, just like Oprah?

Well lets see. That last post should have been titled “More shit that will get me hate mail.” And it did.
I guess someone took offense to me offhandly suggesting someone ‘fisted’ the pope?

Oh well, what do I care? Geez people, if you just tell me what offends you, I could go straight there and quit all this pussy-footin round!


A couple nights ago I found an Owl butterfly and I brought it inside to show Mrs. Barn. It promptly escaped and was fluttering around. We turned off the ceiling fan so it would’nt get conked by that while I tried to escort him/her back outside. He/she landed on the rafter for a wee break and WHAM a gecko grabbed it.

So I strike out there as well.
I’m not doing so good these days, my average is way down. If I fell into a barrel of titties I would come out sucking my thumb!

Then the other day I found myself trying to duplicate this expression when Mrs. Barn asked me if I knew anything about that science project in the fridge.

Ha, and guess who's gonna be on Oprah? Yep, Sarah Palin! This will be the first time ever I want to make an effort to watch Oprah. Because my favorite dingbat will be answering questions. Sure to be a hoot!

Anyway, more speed humps going in. got one now between us and the store, one in front of Mango’s, in front of the Green Parrot, and more soon to come.
We used to suffer thru the BANG, CLANG, BOOM of the trucks pounding down the shitty road, not any more. Nope, now it’s peddle to the metal between bumps and then 100 yards of jake brake.
BBBAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR, downshift, BBBAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRR, downshift,
BBBAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRR, downshift, bump, WWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, upshift, WWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, upshift, and over and over and over.
The most popular vehicle on the peninsula is still the dumptruck.

P.S. Yes it's true. Sarah will be on Oprah next month pitchin her new book.



The defense breasts.

18 comments:

Anonymous said...

You should think about hanging up your blog. And then learn how to use the words
'your" and "you're".

Barnacle said...

thanks! fixed it.

Anonymous said...

Did you know that Popeye kick the crap out of the Pope for going to mount Olive?

Barnacle said...

I did hear that. Be careful, there's a spell check freak loose.

Anonymous said...

I'd rather see a freak loose than a loose freak.

Anonymous said...

Speaking of loose freaks -- any update on the fisting????

Barnacle said...

None, and don't expect many. But you could do a Google search.

biff said...

Will there be stadium seating at the double wide for the Side Show Sarah interview????

Free beer might be in order too ---

Barnacle said...

My people are working on this.
Limited seating available.
Free beer,,, not so much,,,

biff said...

You made #4 already ---- great !!!!

Anonymous said...

With a double wide, fisting won't be much of an event. To cover your ass, bring your own chair!!!

Barnacle said...

Ha ha ha ha ha ,,, good one!

Anonymous said...

Hey, I wasn't offended at all. I actually was impressed by the researcher's and their qualifications. As for Spel chek, lik it reelly madders?
TC

sandy a said...

On topic: feel sorry for the company that owns those trucks!

cayegirl said...

I was amused by the fact that everyone was surprised that Palin finished her book before schedule. Can't be too hard when you are just making shit up!

rabbitmoon said...

monkey photo should say it all! Good grief offended people...change the channel. You keep up the great blog...spell check...zeez

Thor said...

It never ceases to amaze me how brave people get when they are "anonymous". I think that if you googled anonymous the true definition would be "chickenshit"!! Keep up the good work Barn, I love a good laugh and some of your shit is hilarious!
Thor
Spell check this bitch(anonymous, the bitter one, that is)!!!

Thor said...

And by the way, those comments are only for the "anonymous" users that use that to hide their identity so that they can spew their hateful, judgemental crap. If you are not one of these, please do not take offense!