Saturday, August 8, 2009

I got shiney balls,,,,

Neighbor: Pssst, Barn. I got some good shit for the blog!
Me: Fuck, spill it, I am desperate!
Neighbor: You can’t tell anyone and you didn’t hear it from me.
Now, this is how all gossip starts. The good stuff anyway. And it’s funny that once it reaches my ears it has usually been bounced up and down the peninsula already, twice! I am almost always the last to hear because of how I have slowed my bar frequency to something resembling how often the Pope visits.
Business has been way slow and as always the bar visits are the first to go. We still manage to burn through 800bz per month on beer! At case prices!!
I see I am beginning to stray from the big rumor and I am sure you are dying to hear.
But GotDam, 800 per month! I can’t imagine how some of my compadre’s do it night after night at 4bz per bottle!? Mine is calculated at just under 2bz per bottle!
I did hit a bar yesterday. Had 3 beers, sweat like a dog, and dropped 13 bucks! Time to head for the safety and comfort of the DoubleWide!
Back to the big rumor. How do these get started? How do they spread? How do they get modified?
The answers to those nagging questions should be fairly easy. Boredom! There’s an old saying,
“There’s not much to see in this small town, but what you hear makes up for it.” So true.
And it don’t get much smaller than the Breach!
WOULD YOU GET TO THE FUCKING RUMOR ALREADY!
OK OK, cool your hose.
This rumor, believe it or not, does not directly relate to my disgust with developers. No, has nothing to do with what scumbags they are. So you can forget that now.
But just to be clear, I have no respect for developers! They are the lying-est, slick talking bastards known to modern man. Possibly even rank higher on the asshole scale than used car salesmen and lawyers! Yes, possibly.
THE FUCKING RUMOR ASSHOLE!!
OK,, here it is,, now I want you to keep an open mind. Don’t rush to any judgments. Try to see it from every angle. Weigh the good and the bad. What will the implications be? How and who will be effected?
Is this good for me? The Breach? The world?
I’M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU!!

Alright already,,, here it comes. Wait for it.

Wait for it.

Wait,,,



BOOM!
A four lane bowling alley in Mental Breach!

There. And yes it appears to be true. Personally, I think I will prefer my Wii bowling but, you never know.
More details as I am allowed to print. Jeesh!


Heres a couple shots sent to me of another bowling alleys parking lot. I’m told this guy hit that light pole a few miles back but still soldiered on to get that next beer! OOOH RAW!
With our new road, a bowling alley, and streetlights not far behind, this could be a possibility here!





3 comments:

Carbunkle Trumpet said...

You do put a smile on my face, keep up the good work!

Joe said...

I'm thinking about visiting the breach around turkey day... If ins i do, i'll bring by another 6 pack!

Joe

Anonymous said...

All gringos should be made to check their guns and goofy gringo games at the border.