Sunday, June 7, 2009

Hey, this is a 'Fart-Free' zone!

Oh my fucking shit,, I woke up with serious goma! Seems me and Mrs. Barn were up late, chatting live on this FaceBook shit. As in 2300 late! She had no beers, being she is at moms and all, so I drank for her. Meaning two for every one of mine. Cause that’s the kinda guy I am. Thoughtful.
Next thing I know,, I’m HAMMERED!
I get up Sunday with a hangover you could see from space! My blood could have run a lawnmower!
My teeth were all wearing little wool sweaters.
And I gotta get ready for a chili cook-off!
OK,, buck up,, just get ‘er done.
Around 0700 I get the pork going, no problem.
1000, OK, everything is going somewhat smooth.
1100, let it all simmer,, take a nap.
1300, pack it all up and go.
Long story short. There were 12 entrees.
Me and Denise tied for 4th(honorable mention).
Ellie came in third,
Second,, was Jack Linker.
First place was Jerry! Of Jerry and Carla fame!

I did not try any of the entries, as I was in “the drinkin mode”, but it all smelled very good.

The prizes were more than I expected. I got 3 free beers and a t-shirt. (need to return it for a next larger size it now see), others got 50 and 100$ tabs! Not too shabby!
It was a great turn-out and I see many more successful cook-offs in the future.
Only one rough spot, and I know Wende hates me for bringing it up, they ran out of beer at 1730!
I had 50 bucks in my pocket, took it home with me.
Other than that,, it was a rousing success and you can bet yer ass I will enter again, but hopefully a bit more focused.



Fart:

a fart is more than just a sound. it is more than just a horrifying smell. a fart is a much more deeper emotion. it is one that touches the heart, comes straight from the stomach and reaches deep into ones soul. it takes the path from one person's ass hole and leads itself into another's nose. it touches the five senses like michael jackson touches little boys. farts are a wonderous thing especially when done in public places to offend people in restaurants, schools, banks etc. farts bring people closer together. the make music and can create a dance. so fart. fart in a car when the windows are up, fart in your friends face and fart in front of your mom.

6 comments:

RPM said...

Pork in chili? That's just wrong on so many levels.

Unknown said...

No beans and tomatoes are wrong, dead animal is good! Beer too, no water...

sandy a said...

you have never tasted Phil's goat chili. it puts all other chilis to SHAME!!!

RPM said...

Joe I'm with ya on the beans, but tomatoes are an essential ingredient. Goat is good, but venison beats 'em all.

Belizean Beach Bums said...

Darn, we missed the chili cookoff... Hey Barn, when is Mrs Barn coming home....

Anonymous said...

Speaking of farts:

Barn,
Do you know why your shit is tapered?
..
..
..
..
So your asshole doesn't slam shut.
Another of G~d's miracles I suppose.

Doc Tammy