Sunday, May 31, 2009

What's this all aboot,, y'all?

As a matter of fact, it is so boring round here Mrs. Barn said ‘fuckit’, bought a ticket to the states and is going to leave me! Right smack in the middle of earthquake season!
But that’s fine. I gots me shit to do.
I have a list of work needs to be done someone has to do, and I got enough photo ideas to keep me entertained for awhile and that’s the important shit right there!
Also, today I am test driving a chili recipe that has been rollin round my brain compartment for some time. Looks like I may enter this ‘chili cookoff’ coming up. Besides, I need to get rid of that old snake carcass been layin round here. “Flat Snake Chili?”
I’m surprised at the Canadians who cook chili. Or have even heard of it! Not your usual Canadian meal I doubt. I thought they all ate walrus blubber and washed it down with Moosehead,, eh.
Maybe it’s walrus chili?
Ha ha ha ha ha ,, I love teasin Canadians’. They make it so easy. And I know a few who get so defensive they turn bright red!
But still not as much fun as the Texans. Talk about easy!
And then I read an article in The Onion a few days ago bout how Texas wants to build a 75’ hi wall around the entire state’s northern borders. The idea is to keep all the Americans out of Texas! They were bitchin bout how Americans were ruining the way of life in their fair state, foreigners from exotic places like Seattle were taking away their jobs. It was an enlightening article.

Couple old bird photos.









Canadians:

When a girl's period is dodgy, and skips months and such, it is said, it infact runs away to Canada to become a mountie or a lumberjack.
Also a way of refering to a period.
"Katy! Pain! Pain! Stupid uterus."
"Canadians?"
"Yep"

":( This is the third month I've missed, but I don't think I'm pregnant"
"Ahh, Canadians"

7 comments:

Belizean Beach Bums said...

Good post Barn, I really enjoyed the part about Texas..

I have an idea why Adriane is leaving.... eh? Is she heading to Canada to bring you back some walrus blubber for your chili? eh?

Joe said...

Hey now, the free beer fairy is a Texan!

sandy a said...

A wall around texas would suck, considering I have to cross the border every day to get to my shop!
We ate a rattlesnake yesterday! No lie! Our friend shot it right next to his house (he doesnt' usually shoot snakes, but this one was big enough to eat)--it had 13 buttons and that's a big 'un! Phil fixed it with Tony's seasoning, garlic, and butter. It was OK, nothing to write home about.

Barnacle said...

From the “Teasing Texans and Canadians” handbook, 13th edition:

Chapter 9,

When referring to either Texans or Canadians during a tease session, any and all ‘Beer Fairies’ shall be exempt from said ridicule. All ‘Beer Fairies’ being living or dead shall be included in this exemption.

Spongey said...

The problem with teasing "Canadians", is that they rarely get the gist of the joke. They look around wondering what everyone is laughing
and carrying on aboot, oblivious to their own, sad, 2nd rate status among others from north America....

Anonymous said...

What on earth is going on with that levitating blue bird? Colette

Joe said...

I am mollified!