I'm not makin this shit up,,,

It’s hot! How hot? Freekin hot! How hot is that? One hundred thousand BTU’s more than friggin hot!
Fuzznutts has not left his window perch all day. And Scurvy doesn’t even bother to bark at anything.
The day began interesting enough. Adriane found a scorpion in the pocket of her shorts!


<--WTF?





Now, I’ve seen her get undressed pretty fast over the years, but I think I witnessed a new record! And she makes a very distinctive noise (and dance) when there is a scorpion involved. I can tell that sound every time. Sorta like a dull skill saw blade grinding thru a sheet of rusty zinc, only different. Like a cat with his tail caught in a clothes wringer, or a baby wildebeest that a hippo just sat on. Or maybe a Yak during a particularly hard child birth. Combine all those and your close. When she lets go with that sound, if there are any garage doors around, they will be going up,down,up,down. I heard our neighbors house alarm go off! But, we found him and sent him packin off to scorpion heaven, or hell. The world would be a better place without them creepy bastards! She keeps track. She has been stung 6 times. Me, twice. She sez I’m lucky. I say it’s my cat-like reflexes.
Sidenote: As I'm typing this, a gecko plopped on the table next to me, succeeding in freakin me right out!
Did I forget to mention it stung her twice?

Greg, the vegetable guy comes here on Wednesdays and Sundays. He was just here, on Tuesday. I ask him ‘what day is it?’ Carmita tells me they are here because of the bridge. Now, I’m thinking how does the bridge play into them being early? Late I would understand but, early? She tells me that because there is rain scheduled for tonight, they came early because the bridge washed out 3 times in 8 days last week! And if they are to get stranded, they would prefer on this side. OK,, makes sense now.
I guess it is washing away so often now they don’t bother to announce it. Just dump more dirt on it till next rain. Must have a crew stationed right there.










Have I ever mentioned how Adriane sez she won't link this blog from her website?
Any ideas why not?





You exist in a perfect Zen circle: you drink because your wife nags and she nags because you drink.