Chicken day at the retirement home

 This chicken was labeled 'REGULAR'. Not sure what the other options were. I don't think I have ever cooked a whole chicken in a crockpot before, always roasted them on the oven. What could go wrong?

Some folks will say I;m an idiot, (duh) but the feet, heart, gizzards and livers get cooked seperatly and fed to the house critters. And how come us and cows and shit don't have gizzards? And why does the dog have anal glands? First time I heard of them I said,"you're gonna squeeze what?" I think I could use a set of anal glands these days. This all ties in with the chicken dinner coming up.

We been trying a new diet, Keto, basically it's a low/no carb diet. We gave up flour, rice, taters, sugar. But it's freeking hard. I have a hard time living without tortillas and beans! So we cheat a bit.

This chicken is destined to become enchiladas. I have a keto friendly recipe for corn tortillas that consists of eggs and cream cheese. Crepes I guess. But it works out OK. As they say, 'it will all end up in the septic."

Snacks are hard as well. Chips are a no no. Pretzels too. Goss chocolate is not bad but I don't like plain chocolate. I need nuts or rice crispies or something in it.

So here ya go. Melt the bars and stir in some peanuts and toss in the freezer! Good to go!

Looks like they already made a pass thru the septic,,,

Never take advice from me. You'll just end up drunk.