Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Jaguars, Vipers, and Hookers OH MY!

I’m back.
Beers were good at the V.I.P. Lounge last night, even tho we sit on stumps and crates. And Doris cranked out some great chow as well. Still need music tho.

Got a few stories brewing that are worth sharing. Where to start. Lets start with GOD.
For years now we have had right here on the peninsula our very own version of Jim and Tammy Faye Baker. A ‘so called’ Minister and his wife, who actually looks like Tammy!
They began here with a small Mennonite house just barely bigger than ours, nothing special.
Then hurricane Iris knocked that house to the ground.
A N.C religious magazine, or some shit like that, wrote a story detailing the suffering and inhumane hardships this man-o-God had to deal with in the weeks following that storm.
This story had him living in the back of his tiny truck surviving on Bean&Weenies all the while Jaguars and Vipers were circling. No showers, tarantulas the size of dinner plates, all kinds of shit.
In reality, he was seen at various hotels around the country while his little house was put back up, and it was about the first one to be put back up too.
So, in other words, this magazine article was total bullshit. Just something to raise donations.
Well it worked!
Because very soon after, that little Mennonite house was replaced with a huge concrete mansion with 8ft cement walls around it topped with razor wire. Inside the compound are parked a brand new shiny 4x4 truck and a equally new and shiny Mercedes SUV.
These he drives to the Maya villages to preach the good word to these very poor people with dirt floors AND to bring back donations, in the form of bags of change.
THEN, GOD finds it in his/her heart to fund the building of a religious radio station across the road from this fortress.
And so it goes for years.
Now we hear this Man-O-GOD has envolved a lawyer and is trying to shut down the teeny tiny pre school just to the south of him. Why would he do this you may ask?
He claims the kids make too much noise during recess.
So some digging was done. And what was found was that his big ass compound is on the market for a cool 2 million.
And if there are some noisey kids nearby that could hamper his path to easy street.
So FUCK THEM KIDS, they gotta go.
I’ll keep you informed as to just how this plays out.

Next scandal involves the other profession I happen to loathe.
Real estate salesman.
One of them here started this thread on Face Book about a local bar called Ooga Booga Fun Club, located down in S.B.
He starts his rant with how they are exploiting children and forcing them into prostitution. He goes on and on and soon has a few others feeding on his paranoia.
He is corrected a few times and has not uttered a word since.
It has been quite entertaining the last couple days watching all this. I pointed out to this nit-wit how he is really the one exploiting his own kid by plastering her face on every for sale sign for miles of here hoping it will somehow induce a sale.
So there is 2 tales of hypocrisy to the 4th power.

Then on to the next tale of woe.
Remember a few posts back where I mentioned a Humane Society meeting at Mango’s that turned into a childish playground sand fight?
Well at that meeting they did manage to elect an entire new board of directors.
That was what, 2-3 weeks ago?
Well since then there has been a mass exodus from the top down.
Didn’t see that coming did ya?
Lets just hope the animals come out better off from it all.

So there ya have it, just the way it came to me. The first 2 tales are on going FB battles, the last one, I heard from about 4 different people before someone finally said ‘there is supposed to be a gag order on all this”. Well someone, maybe more, wiggled out of their gag and let it fly.

Everyday it is something I tell ya.

The glass isn’t half empty or half full. It just needs to be topped off.


sandy a. said...

Grist for your blog! What else are you going to write about, anyway? ;)

RPM said...

Jesus saves, but "preachers" withdraw.

Anonymous said...

what facebook is know-it-all BoreAss on?

Anonymous said...

2 mil might be great price if it is turnkey and includes the Mansion,Resort, Radio station and the Mayan Bags o Change Mines scattered throughout Belize.

Carole said...

Reminds me of a bumper sticker I saw right chere in South Texas. "God, please save me from your followers."