Thursday, March 17, 2011

"Whatcha do today honey?" "Nuttin"

Things be happnin round here now. Yes, business is still hopping and it looks like it is peninsula wide, everyone seems to be doing well including the construction folks.
I heard at the V.I.P. lounge tonight that 90 % of the country’s construction is happening here! I guess that’s good, I have mixed feelings.
We went to the village today to pay bills and shit, and it gets increasingly hard to navigate down there with all the traffic both cars and foot. We usually can’t wait to get back to the ‘Burbs’.

Mrs. Barn sent out an update on the beach clean-up project and has gotten a better response than usual. Good job neighbors!

Then I get a phone call,,,, “Barnacle, you want to photograph a pig cutting?”
“Uh,, OK”

Did I mention the new pig farm in Riversdale? I think so.
Well,, turns out the male pigs were to be castrated. And oh lucky me gets to record it all. I have been moaning about the lack of photo ops so I would be remiss to turn down any Kodak moment that happened by, right?
So I was picked up this morning and we go up to the ‘farm’.
The owner is new at all this and luckily another neighbor is an old hand at pig farming so he is getting some good advice/instructions.
Me? I’m a city boy. I barely knew pigs had nuts, let alone why you would want to cut them off.
The way it was explained to me is, the males will grow much faster castrated. I assume it’s because their minds are no longer on pig pussy, but focused on food. Makes sense.
These guys are about 6-8 weeks old and I am told it is best to do this earlier b ut,, here we go.

They were just enjoying life in pigville when all the sudden these guys come at them with boxcutter razor blades and start slicing at their nut region!

So about now the male readers are winching a bit and the females have already left the blog, cause they know there will be photos.
Well,, here ya go.

Point of note: pigs don’t have a ball sac like say,, I do. One that hangs further and further every year. Nope, these guys hide them inside.

So he had to slit the skin and go digging round in there to find the nut and stretch it out.
You may notice this little guy needs his worms addressed!

Ok ok,, I know some of you are saying “Dude, you're harshing my mellow!”
So to ease it back a notch here is a hummer I shot a few days ago.

And if that didn't help ease you back,, maybe this will.

As a kid, whenever I got sick my mom would say: 'Don't worry, son. There's nothing so bad that it can't be fixed with a bottle of cheap Scotch and a couple of hookers'. Or was that the old crusty guy who hung around the schoolyard ? No matter — either way, it's terrific advice.


aroundthecorner said...

That was a great photo op down there at the bottom. Glad we didn't miss it, and the pig de-nutting was good also!

RPM said...

Being a country boy I can tell you the guy in the first pic is holding the pig all wrong, and here's why...

Back in FFA class we all had to have a project for the yearly show. One guy, Willie, chose pigs and of course you have to castrate them. So one day in class we all hop on the bus and ride out to his farm.

The teacher tells Willie to grab the pig and hold him up for the procedure as we all stand around and watch. Willie grabs the pig by the hind legs with the pigs belly toward him (just like in the pic).

Here is where things went horribly wrong. When he lifted the pig up, the little feller took the only defensive action he had and bit down as hard as he could on Willie's nuts. I mean, fair is fair...right?

Not sure who was squealing louder, Willie or the pig. But neither was about let go. We finally managed to stop laughing long enough to get them untangled and fortunately only one of them wound up losing his nuts. We let somebody else hold the pig and Willie got to exact his revenge on the little feller.

So remember class, always pick up your pig with his back to your belly. Your balls will thank you.

Anonymous said...

1st) OUCH!!!!
2nd) Does she know she has sand in her butt?

Harley said...

Oh Shit.... RPM, I spilled my Beer and Fell Off my Bar Stool from Laughing My Ass Off so Hard.. Sorry Barn, But sometimes the comments are funnier than the Pic's... Balls are alot tastier if ya let them get Real Big before ya cut em and cook em. 8)