Thursday, July 15, 2010

Gettin old ain't for pussies,,,

Well, seems I have figured out my slump. Mrs. Barn pointed it out.
I’m sure I have mentioned that my Dad is very old and shit. And my Mom is the one taking care of him.
Blind, on dialisys, barely gets around, needs help with just about everything.
Well last week I get a phone call that mom has been admitted to the hospital for a triple bypass.
Her sister will be staying with Dad.
She comes thru surgery OK but has a tough time shaking off the drugs. She is loopy for days.
Then she snaps out of it and they let her go home after about 8 days or so.
She was home one day when I get another phone call telling me both Mom and Dad are now back in the hospital!
Mom with fluid in her lungs and Dad with some kinda heartbeat deal.
They are both in there for a few days and I am told they should both be turned loose again today.
And that is where the problem lies.
Mom can’t pick up right where she left off taking care of Dad, she just can’t do it.
She is trying to get help from the VA and a couple other agencys to send her help during the daytime but it is not happening soon enough.
It looks like it’s time for Dad to check into a living assisted home. And that sucks.
What also sucks is there are family members who apparently believe I am the one to make that call, or convince Mom to make it.
I can’t visit for a few more weeks and who the fuck knows what will happen by then.
All this is playing out right now and this is why I can’t get anything else into my brain compartment.
And on top of all this, Mrs Barn still has both her parents getting up there as well.


Anonymous said...

I can sure sympathize! I went through the same situation almost 20 years of the roughest spots in my life. I wish I had some helpful suggestions for you..but I don't. Keep yer head up!

Anonymous said...

Hey Barn , hang in there.Maybe this will cheer you up , we went to court last week for the wind chimes . I will send you a link to a newspaper article tomorow. Mark and Natalie

Anonymous said...

Dear BB: Thanks for sharing. Handling the needs of elderly parents is not easy. Especially, from a great distance. I live within 10 minutes of my parents who are in their 80's and there are days that I can't do it at all well. Wishing you all the best, Mary Beth from CC.

Anonymous said...

My Dad turns 80 in January. He says "You gotta be tough to get old." Ain't that the truth. Even though he is in good health now I know one day it's coming as with us all. Hang in there Bill.

Anonymous said...

I am gonna add a few words now that I have had a few rums..I struggled with the issues...what would my mother..father want...and what wouyld I want! All said and done I did the best I could and to this day, I feel OK about how it all worked out. I have the satisfaction of knowing that I came as close as possible to doing what they wished...a sometimes very tough road to follow.
Best to ask yourself what they would wish and what you would wish if it was you....
Hang in there..we love you!

sandy a. said...

I am sorry that you are going through this, and that your folks are have health problems, but that is inevitable with age, unfortunately.
Sometimes older people need extra help, that's the bottom line. Some need more than others. My Mom cared for my grandma as long as she could, and then eventually Grandma needed professional care and she knew it, so she chose what assisted living facility she wanted and Mom visited as much as she could.
Talking to your folks about life decisions like this is hard, but they deserve the best care they can get. Sometimes older folks just need those things pointed out to them.
I wish I could say more to make you feel better....

Anonymous said...

Sorry Barn...that's just fucked up. Been there, done that, came out ok.

RPM said...

Not sure I can expound on the subject more than 10:28.

Anonymous said...

Some times life isn't what you want it to be. You can only do what you can do and no more. You wouldn't do any less then what you can do.

You will make the correct choice's for you and your parents at the time and resource's you have at that time. You can do no more then that.

Hang in there. It will all work out the way its ment to be.

Sue W said...

When I was there with my parents having to make the tough decisions, I made sure to tell my kids what my old age wishes might be. All parents should have this conversation with their kids, but very few do.
Be easy on yourself. My life philosophy is that folks are doing the best they can. Judge them accordingly.