Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Turn your head and cough, once more please, now does this feel good or bad?

Fuck. Here we go again.
Friday we had an appointment with the medical clinic to get both of us a physical for health insurance. Have to go to Independence, so we try to make a road trip out of it.
The road north of us is brutal right now. It has rained all weekend and washed all the dirt away so the road is down to just sharp edged rocks. Makes for a very slow jarring ride.
Anyway, Friday we get to the clinic and the girl tells us they can’t do it today because they have no HIV test kits. We have to come back.
I have always been amazed at how people who don’t live on the peninsula are so quick to toss out “you can come back tomorrow”! They don’t understand what it took to get here TODAY, I’m not making the trip again tomorrow!
But, after having seen this hundreds of times before we just shrugged and said OK, we’ll be back Monday.
Monday morning it is raining so the Hokey Pokey is not a good option for us and we decide to drive again. But,, we phone them up first.
“The HIV kit is at the airstrip, we just need to pick it up.”
So away we go again. Same shitty road.
Going down the southern it rained sooo hard, I contemplated pulling over! I was about to the intersection with PG and you know how some idiots put those cement dividers in the middle of the hyway? Well, I thought I was going to hit them for sure. This photo is when it just started to get good, then Mrs Barn put her camera down and was holding the chicken handle tight! It got much worse!

We get to the clinic and the door is locked! Just as I was considering a hissy fit, she unlocks the door saying it was locked because of the rain???
We wait for our turn and go see the Dr.
I’ve had physicals before and a couple have been here. The ones here are about one piss test away from comical! But who would expect anything else?
Basically, it consist of a blood sample, a piss sample, and blood pressure test. Then they ask you if you or your family have ever had one of the thousands of know ailment in the world!

It also seemed like this was the very first time she had ever done this. She stumbled all over the forms like it was their first meeting. She poked a light into Adriane’s ears, not mine, took her pulse, not mine. Made us run in place for a minute then rest for another heart beat test, not me. The “lab” had equipment that looked like it was from Cuba in the 1930’s. their fridge was solid rust.
Then she tells us she could have done all this Friday and just put the blood samples in the rusty fridge till Monday when they got the kits from the airstrip!FUCK!! we left there Friday thinking the same thing but nooooooooo, this is how you do it in Belize.

Then comes the logisitics and deadline problems. Our paperwork has to reach the insurance folks before Friday. But, the ONLY Dr. who can sign us off is in Orangewalk. She was struggling with how to get the stuff to him, signed and returned to Belize city when she said “OH, I will just sign my name,, maybe they won’t care.” And that’s true, maybe they won’t but maybe they will. I bet they won’t.
I guess I could always just sneak into the U.S. as an illegal alien and get covered that way!

So if we are approved, we will have good insurance for the next 17 years (for me). I need to start living a bit more dangoursly! Start skydiving and shit.
Or, maybe not!

P.S. Remember the bridge at Kendal? Well guess what. It's been a year now and reports are that it is ready to wash away AGAIN!
They have done nothing to replace it and with this weekends rain, well there it goes.

I tried to look up the “Live every day like it’s your last” saying to find the author but google was all “Did you mean ‘Live every day like no one’s watching’?” which I think means you can dig your underwear out of your butt during important business meetings. I am totally going to get promoted.

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