Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Lets get drunk and eat chicken fingers,,,

A lot of people seem to have a problem understanding what I mean when I say I got layed off.
“From what?” They ask. “I didn’t know you had a job.”
Well let me tell you, I have busted my arse for the last 11 years trying to just keep my fridge full of beer head above water.
Well that’s it; the working force won’t have me to kick round any more. Nope, fuck that. I got a new occupation.
TROPHY HUSBAND!
The pay could be better, as in anything would be a start but hey, it’s a pretty cool gig!
If things start to get tight I can always gigolo myself out for beer money. Like you would’nt do that, sheesh.
Since I ain’t making one red cent from this blog thingy, I need to do sumptin.
I am getting snot all over my fucking keyboard because I am crying so hard right now I cannot even see because THIS SHIT IS TOTALLY MOTHERFUCKING FUCKED!
So, fuck me running, this is prolly not going to make any fucking sense when I re-read it. So I won’t.
Suffice to say, I am baked enough to wish that I was 13 years old and could run away from home again.
I can hardly see,,,

OK, I’m better now.
So,, lets say your sitting at home, half drunk, tired, feelin lazy, too lazy to cook, too lazy to go out for something, just a big fat lazy ass sittin there.
Well now there’s hope. For a mere 5 bucks, you can phone up C.C. Ryder Delivery Service. Also known as Cheryle on her bike. She will go get you dinner, beer, party favors, dog food, whatever and deliver it to your lazy ass. She is available between Maya playa and Bella Maya.
As said, she is on a bike but if things get better she has plans to add a motor to that bike.
A pretty cool idea don’t you agree? 624-5516

P.S. she will also be offering animal and plant sitting services.



Fat Ass:

Someone who sits their large ass next to the computer wasting their time looking up fucking retarded-ass definitions such as this one.

5 comments:

sandy a said...

i still dont' understand.....
Maybe it's like one of the Great Mysteries of the Universe--not for mere mortals like myself to comprehend, we must just have faith and accept it!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA...WTF??

sue said...

You realize, of course, that half the western hemisphere is totally dumbfounded over this last bit of bullshit!

RPM said...

I wish I would get laid off. Heck, I'd be happy just to get laid.

Sue said...

Barn,
Just got home from an Eagles concert (Glen called it the Eagles Assisted Living Tour). The guy next to me could have been you 'cept no cool tattoos.

cayegirl said...

I empathize Barn. I got an email last month telling me I was laid off. Next Tuesday is my last day - got to go back to the US to collect unemployment!