Maybe I should venture out,,,,,?

You know it’s slow or I have not left the compound for days when I resort to writing about the difference in men and women’s feelings! Go out, get some gossip I tell myself. But, all cabanas are full. It would be the height of irresponsility-ness for me to leave and go get drunk, gather gossip while 8 visitor’s vacations depend on me! So, I stay here on the doublewide and get hammered, make shit up.
At some point I think we need to discuss the ever so real possibility of Zombies inhabiting the Breach!
I have always stated that is why I want to be safely back home before dark, because of the Vampires, but I never mentioned the Zombies. The un-dead. Not blood suckin pointy eared fucks like the Vamps.
Zombies are reanimated, but they don’t have their previous mental capacity so it’s not a resurrection. Technically it’s “zombification”.
Vampires have their “previous mental capacity”, thus by logic they are resurrected.
But, when you resurrect someone from the grave they aren’t undead.
You may think, No, they are TOTALLY undead. That’s like the very definition of the undead.
But, no. A vampire is undead. The resurrected aren’t undead.
Calm down, Darwin. Don’t get all crazy just ’cause I threw a vampire monkey-wrench in your faulty zombie logic.
Zombies have been raised from the dead, brought back. Like Jesus did on Easter! Only way cooler.
Jesus rose from the dead (so I’m told), exited some cave, saw his shadow and we were guaranteed 6 more weeks of winter. Boring.
The Zombies I’m talkin bout hunt you down and chew off your arm. Hey, could that be what happened to Scurvy’s dick? Think about it.
Oh, and while I got you all here, this is the answer to the burning question on everyones mind. Scurvy did not get his dick bit off! Just bit on.
So maybe that’s evidence right there that was no Zombie as a real Zombie would have bit the whole thing off, battered it and deep-fried that corn dog! I swear, he just glanced up at me with a weird expression on his mug.



A quick google seach on resurrection and reanimation turned up that “There is a difference between resurrection and resuscitation, or re-animation. Resurrection refers to putting on a new, glorified body, while re-animation, or resuscitation, mean raising the person in the old, mortal body in which they died.”
So zombies are re-animated, vampires are undead, and Jesus and TreeTop were resurrected.
And some nights at Mango's can look like 'Weekend at Bernies"!

P.S. Oh, two new tunes in the player, Niel Young, and Bob Dylan.
P.P.S. How ya think I'm doin' in the Travel blog competition? [SNORK]




Zombie Beaver

1. When a female's genitalia falls asleep during coitus, typically due to understimulation

2. A wood-chucking mammal that builds dams in rivers that has been literally zombified after being bitten by an existing zombie.

"We were totally getting it on, and then like after 3 minutes it was so bad I got Zombie Beaver"