Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Maybe I'm not as smart as I look? Naaawww,,,,UPDATED!

It all started off innocently enough. As all my ideas do.
A few years ago I discovered that people have been using a tin can like gizmo to help start their charcoal for the grill.
Like most people I had been using fluid and not liking it so much.
I tried the gas grill route for a couple years but decided charcoal was the way to grill. I just needed a way to get them damn coals going better.
Then here in Belize, the charcoal we use is way different. Not your little briquettes like you are used to no sir. Here we have the real deal. I describe it as if someone went to the scene of a house fire and scooped up all the timbers. I don’t know what it is but it works great,, once you get it lit.

When I brought down one of them new-fangled tin can starters and gave it a try, whollyshit! It worked better than I would have expected. I barely got thru 2 beers before these coal were jet engine hot! No fanning the coals, no adding more fluid, it just cooked.
Sumbitch, wish I would have known years ago. And it turns out folks have been doing this for ever. I never got that memo.
So I have now been thru a few of these (between us and the guests using them and the harsh beach conditions they don’t last forever) when I decided that hey, I have never seen another one of these in the country, I should have some made and sell them. People will be lining up to buy once they learn what a great idea it is.
Mrs. Barn was, let’s say a bit less optimistic about the idea.
She was either impressed or appalled. I have trouble telling those apart.
“I’m going to see the Mennonites and have them make me some to sell. It will be great!”
“Nobody will buy them, you’re being a dipshit.”
“You watch, they will make them cheap, I will sell at a reasonable mark up, and I will retire a millionaire before the years end!”
“Are you brain dead? What about the cost of going to and from Spanish Lookout?”
“Not to worry, I got it all figgerd out.”

I was in SL anyway getting the AC fixed in the truck so I said phuck it, I’m going to talk to the tinners.
They made me 4 from a sample I left with them and it only took 2 months before someone would pick them up for me.
But guess what, and you have no idea how much it pains me to say this but, there’s a slight, slim, miniscule possibility that I may have been wrong. BUT, its an even slimmer possibility that she was right.
I think my only mistake was in calculating the time frame for reaching my retirement goal. And maybe the cash amount was a bit off as well.
But look at it this way, we should not have to buy another charcoal chimney for many years to come and for that alone I am a genius!
And thank you for agreeing.

UPDATE: well, looks like I may have been right all along.
I have sold all my ‘Tin Man hat’ fire starters.
Sorry for those who left a comment about wanting one but there will be another order made.
So to her who thinks I was just a idiot with a pipe dream, I have this to say to you, NANNY NANNY POO POO!

“She spilled a beer on me. That’s foreplay.”


Adriane said...

You can't say it can you ... "She was right, and I was WRONG!"

Sue W said...

"and for that alone I am a genius!"

Totally agree!

Wilma said...

not so fast - can we place an order?

Wilma and Dennis

PS - we are serious.

Dave + Dianna Rider said...

Me too... Serious that is. Course, I'm not so sure how to get it from your end up here to Corozal, but that's a minor problem.
What did you say the cost was? (I guess that should have been the first thing I said).
I've seen 'em in use up North and they do work like dynamite.

RPM said...

Barn, I'm here to help a brotha out. Don't give up on a good idea. You'd still be in Denver if you didn't go for it.

Get on eBay or talk to a few of the Chineys and find out who they import from and buy some on the cheap from Shanghai. You could find them for $3-$4 in bulk and price them at 12.99. (On sale for $9.99!!!)

You might have to sit on some inventory for a while, but those charcoal chimneys work and they sell like hotcakes at Cabella's and Bass Pro Shops. I doubt the Mennonites can keep up with the Chiney production line or beat their price.

I smell a new item at the bungalow gift shop! You do have a gift shop full of cheezy tourista crap, right?