Will the Defendant please rise,,,

Seems like it was just yesterday I was talking bout a new Chiney store. And today we went into another new one, in Seine Bight. The new cement building across the road from the old Chiney. Another very nice store! The shelves were purty well stocked and the freezers were brand new! None of that shit where everything in the freezer is frozen together in one bloody hunk.

In the back is the hardware portion of the store. I saw plumbing, nails, varnish, hand tools, rakes, shovels, motor oil, toasters, blenders, T.V.’s, microwaves, dvd players, getto blasters, floor fans, everything a good Chiney store should have! And,, 2 very nice young girls to help you.

Also made a stop at Dave Perez fruit stand. It gets better all the time. Today he had blu cheese and feta cheese!

From there we went on into Placencia. I don’t know if it was because it was Thursday morning or what, but it was CROWDED!! Anymore when we drive down there, I can’t wait to get out. It is increasingly hard to drive and there are a lot of people. I hear talk that the hi up mucky mucks in the village are trying to figure a way to restrict the traffic. That village was not designed for cars and now there are LOTS of ‘em! If things keep improving up north here, I won’t have to go down there near as much. Have to go to a couple bars you understand, but we are about to the point that we can get everything else either here or S.B.!


UPDATES! Holy Shit Updates!
Our gun totin resort owner is out?!? Back in the hood!?!? How that happened I don’t know. Am waiting for details. Musta been a hand-job involved after all? You’ll hear when I hear.

Check the road work photos.

























And does anyone recognize this ass? Does anyone have a prognosis for the little volcano erupting from it? Popular theory is that’s a spider bite.
KNARLY!



In high school, I was voted most likely to drink in grade school.

Dumplings, Firearms, and Uranus,,

You remember where Verli’s used to be? Small shop on the east side of the road near the new cop shop?
It is now a new Chiney store. That makes 4,, maybe 5 Chiney shops in Placencia. This one sometimes has frozen pork dumplings in their freezer. Not always but I check from time to time. They are GREAT! And easy to cook up. Steaming them works well. Then use however you like.

The new owners are going to live on the top. Don’t know what is in the middle.


HOTFLASH: This just in. I just received a phone call reliably reporting that a local M.B. resort owner has been hauled off to the pokie. The charge,, un-licensed 9mm and 72 live rounds! (I’m purty sure you all can figure out who it was)

Apparently,, he was off-ing some rounds last night and some tourists turned him in. They take that shit serious here. He will be tossed into Hattieville prison and denied bail till his hearing which could take a month or more.
I tell ya, the mere mention of being packed off to the Hattieville Hilton gives me the fuckin creeps! It is said to be the worst prison in the carribean.
Now, he is going to want to learn how to make prison wine. It’s that stuff they make in their toilets and get all slammed on. Yeast is an important ingredient for this booze.
Yeast is definitely a contraband, but for the sake of this culinary quest we'll just assume he’ll give the prison baker a hand-job.
But then the guy wouldn't give him the yeast! SO HE STABBED HIM WITH A PEN IN THE EYE AND TOOK IT! And he was all, "DON'T FUCK WITH ME!"
Yes. This is what we should assume.
Updates as they arrive.

Maybe I should put the “Prison Bitch’ tune back in the juke box!
Oh,, I did add some new ones by the way.

“I can see Uranus from here!?”




Remember, you can always find East by staring directly at the sun.

Problem Solving, The way the PRO'S do it!

Actual conversation on the ‘doublewide’.

Me: Our guests asked me today what the huge developments are going to do with their sewage. I told them that the developer claims they are going to use systems so advanced, that they will send turds into the future.

Her: I want to get a tivo.

Me: Can you imagine sending turds thru time? How well would they travel?

Her: With a tivo I could record movies from the future.

Me: But I think it would be better to send them into the past. So you would not have to deal with them again.

Her: I heard with a tivo you can interact with the actors, trip them, make ‘em fall down and shit.

Me: If the turds go back in time, would I all the sudden have weird memories of some long gone turd?

Her: Are you fucking listening to me?

Me: Wouldn't that be weird to be just sittin here and have a turd all the sudden plop right there! From the future!!

Her: No, your weird.

Me: I know if you put instant coffee in a microwave it goes back in time.

Her: (groan)

Me: I’m gonna try it with one of those ‘Cincinnati Steamers’ FuzzNutts dropped in the cat box.

Her: You put a cat turd in the microwave and you’re dead!

Me: Just one. It’ll be fun.

Her: *sigh* Listen dumbass, a microwave will not send a cat turd back in time. Look it up.

Me: Oh I’ll look it up alright. I’ll look it up in “THE DICTIONARY OF SHIT I’M RIGHT ABOUT”.

Her: If your turd goes into the future, what will happen to that dinner your about to eat? Think on that!

Me: Fuck,, good point!

Me: Is this the strangest conversation we ever had?

Her: Not even close.


(Adriane's tiger heron photo)




I am the answer to the question, “What kind of idiot pukes in a bidet?”

By the time you read this, I will have drank a few beers,, no, wait,,yes, that's right.

As I made a few airstrip runs in the last couple days, I see there is more progress on the road work. Down on the straight-a-way from Fiona’s old house to the curve by Serenity there is a layer of that black rock. The stuff you would see mixed in with the tar shit. Although they spread it out Friday and now there are 4 tire trails worn down to the other dirt?

More good reviews concerning the new eateries in town! One can never have too many good food joints or bars in town! All our current guests like both new places, Hungry Gecko, and Maya Goodness.
Some folks that left here yesterday, left me some 15yr old Guatemalan rum. IT’S GOOD SHIT! I’m not really a rum drinker but I can slurp this up.

A fellow up in San Pedro has published a bird book. “Bird watching with Bubba”.
(Bubba is his dog)
I actually contributed some photos to the book. He sent me my copy today on a plane. Pretty cool,, for me anyway!
Congratulations Elbert! And Bubba,,, and thanks for the chance to contribute!
I’M SOMEBODY!!



















I’ve apologized to people I don’t remember meeting for things I don’t remember doing in places I don’t remember going.