Wednesday, January 18, 2023

Let's give it another go,,,, Eh?

 


Alright, Gotdammit. I'm gonna try to stir up some creative juices once again. Been doing nothing but sitting on my somewhat old, somewhat fat ass for a few years now, Time to stir up some shit!
I believe when we were last were here, we were smack in the middle of a plague! People were coughin, sneezin, wheezin, gaggin, sweatin, barfin and generally looking like shit!
At the worst, some folks around here even died.
Me? I took all the suggested shots, stayed away from humans, and drank a huge dent in the Jack Danials supply in the tri state area.
If the virus did worm it's way into my system, i bet it took one look around and said, "Yeesh,, I'm outa here!"
So yea,, I been fine. Mrs Barn as well. How could a virus named after a beer take me down anyway? Pfffft, yea, right.
Speaking of whiskey, let's start with the latest and work our way back.
I had to give up the JD. DR's orders (suggestion really). Seems my liver had taken an ass whoopin and was beginning to whine about it. All those years of being awarded "employee of the month" was taking it's toll.
So OK,, I will drop the beer. DR wanted me to quit for 3 months then get checked again. I had no idea but they figured out your liver is crying with a blood test?
3 months cam up and got tested again. 
Got a bunch o good readings! Was feeling very good about it too.
Then when we showed the results to the DR so I could get the gold star for the fridge door, we found out the lab screwed up the results and I had to start over.
Fuck. 
As one would say when you have to extend your sobriety.

Me, being the rebel that I am, had been drinking beer on fridays with the boys, just as has been for about 20 years. What could a few beers hurt? right?
The day came for a new blood test. Went to the vampire in 'Griga and fed his need.
Got the results back that night. The next day, as I tried not to be worried, we went to show the DR.
Yeah well,, FUCK OFF! I got a good score!!
I can again drink, in moderation. And there won't be any whiskey.
My liver regenerated it's self! Turns out it is as tough as a hunk of old shoe leather!
I am still behaving as it keeps the peace 'round the casa. But pouring the beers down my burrito shute on fridays!
So, where am I gulping these beers you may ask. Well, we have been bouncing around as necessary.
For years our go-to 'bar' was the Hungry Gecko (Doris), Our kinda place. Absolutely nothing fancy. Just like I like it.
She gave up the bar biz and sent us packing.
We landed at the bowling alley. One notch up on the ambiance scale, but still my style.
Mango's has been very VERY unreliable ever since the latest owner took over.  Never know if it would be open. Then, just when it seems to be doing a great business, WHAM,, a 4-sale sign shows up, doors closed, again.
Back on the bar hunt.
Tried a couple 'fancy' places, brew barge, inkys, just not our style.
Then an old friend fired up Malu-lu's, (could be saying it wrong). Now this is right, straight up my alley! About 20ft from the beach, old bamboo hut that serves beer and has music. A small menu but it has proven to be good chow. Don't go looking for umbrella drinks or meals that are hard to pronounce, won't find either here. Just be careful where you park! As i said, it's 20 ft from the beach, and means sand.
Got to make a Belmopan run today so let's see if I can still remember how to post this.

Sunday, September 6, 2020

Plague rats,,,

 We have been in quarantine, basicly, ever since march. Our airport has been closed as well as the border crossings. They are doing a great job at keeping the number of 'Rona cases as low as possible. I think we have had 14 deaths. Not bad when you compare to other countrys.
They planned to open the airport on Aug 15th but when a spike in cases arrived they changed their minds.
Seems some asshole bigshot investor from Texas managed to convince the GOP to allow his private jet to bring him and some others in to San Pedro.
Well, bigger than shit, they cause SP to be locked down tighter than a Nun's coochy!
Now they say the airport will open on Oct 1st for daily flights.
Personally, I would like to see them ban people from the US completely as some 100+ other country's have.
They are not taking it serious up there and will no doubt bring it down here. 


Plague rats,,,
Look at the Sturgis rally in August. Anyone with any working brain cells would not have gone this year but people just refuse to change their lives/habits because of something they cannot see.
Now a few weeks later they have confirmed deaths traced back to Sturgis.
And yet still there are many other largs scale events scheduled to take place and idiots will line up for tickets. 




Thursday, September 3, 2020

Who the phuck names a hurricane Nana?

 I have always believed that it was Nana who brought you cookies and milk.  Not 75 miles per hour coconuts! Who the phuck names a hurricane Nana?
Well we watched for days as Nana grew from a speck on the map to a depression to a tropical storm. And the entire time it was pointed directly at us, no question.


Was scheduled to reach us around nighttime Wednesday so I made some preparations. Put some shit away that would be blown all over, that kinda shit. It's not THAT the wind is blowing at 75MPH.
It's WHAT the wind is blowing at 75mph!
Fell asleep early and slept thru the entire storm only to wake up at 0500 and take to dog out and notice there was very little evidence Nana even made a visit!


Oh sure, one deck chair sunk down in the sand, and some leaves were all over but gotdam, a hurricane?
I am sorely disappointed, I want my money back.
I will put the lid back on my trash can and move on.
On the other hand, there seems to be a couple more storms pointed at us already.




 

Monday, August 31, 2020

YEE HAW!

OK, well it's right in the center  of hurricane season and what do we have to offer up?
Well just look at these two storms pointed right at us.

It has been my experience that they most likely will turn north at just the last minute as we have a law that there will be no hurricanes where there is no Home Depot. Our local hardware store would run out of plywood in a short time.
So if the first one don't hit us, the second one has another chance.
Kinda bitter sweet here. I/we believe our new house will survive just fine. Maybe some roof leaks. Our only concern is the car. It lives below the house and is up about 2 feet and protected by the house but a big storm surge could put some salt water on it.
My other concern is Barnacle Bill's. I know we sold it and don't own it but we have 22 years of dedication to it. Hard to just walk away and say fuck it! We would hate to watch it all get blown away. Especially since it would all come our way! At possibly 140 mph.
So we may have to make a whiskey run, maybe grab some chicken while we are out, but they say it could be here in about 4 days. Fun times indeed.


If you look real close you can see Invest 99l. It's there, pointed right at us.


It's not that the wind is blowing at 140mph, 
It's what the wind is blowing at 140mph!

Saturday, August 29, 2020

Politicians, Idiots and Plague Rats oh my!

 Some news filtered into The Retirement Home today. I'm not going to say it is necessarily good news, it could end up being very bad news. Guess we will have to wait and see.
The Gubment is saying they will reopen the international airport on Oct 1st.
Sure it would be great news if things were going to be like it was 6 months ago, but Belize gets the largest portion of visitors from the U.S. and as we can see, they are mostly infected. Still a whole bunch who refuse to wear a mask, even getting into brawls over it! Soon they will start shooting each other over a mask.
The stats you see every day are astounding. And yet Trump seems to just brush it aside like he can't be bothered. 
People refuse to change their life style. The Sturgis ralley went on as planned and like everyone with a decent brain knew, they are coming down with the 'rona now. Who knows how far they could spread it.
And cheetoman is holding rallys again and you KNOW his supporters don't wear no stinkin mask.
Hell, I would wear one just make sure no one suspects me a Trump supporter!


There's still something like 100+ country's that won't let the Plague rats in their county.

Things could go straight to shit if they are not very careful.

We personally will be fine if they kept it closed but there a lot more folks who are not as fortunate and need work.


So with that, i'll lave you with a photo of a very nice looking cock!


A foolish man complains of his torn pocket.
A wise man uses it to scratch his balls.